


I will stay with you tonight

by mellivias



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Femslash, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9705386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellivias/pseuds/mellivias
Summary: Hermione and Ginny are back at Hogwarts, picking up the pieces that the Battle of Hogwarts left behind. The nightmares are getting worse, and they both soon discover that they can't sleep without the other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song "Stay Alive" by José Gonzalez. More chapters to come.

Hermione sat cross-legged on the Gryffindor common room couch, her History of Magic book perched on her lap. The room, and in fact, the whole school, had been eerily quiet in these first months. A once joyful, buzzing community of witches and wizards was now haunted by by the emotional (and literal) ghosts of the war. There was no one within the school grounds who hadn’t been affected by the battle, and it was painted sombrely on everyone’s face.

Hermione was having an especially hard time being back at Hogwarts without Ron and Harry by her side. She understood why they didn’t come back. They had both lost a part of themselves in the war. Hermione had too, but being Hermione, she couldn’t abandon her studies. She had been offered a job as an auror just like Ron and Harry, but she needed to be back at school. Ron and Harry coped by working and drinking, and Hermione coped by studying. Which is why she was here, curled up in front of the Gryffindor fireplace, at nearly two o’clock in the morning.

“Hermione?” Ginny called tenderly, from the doorway of the common room. 

Hermione looked up, startled. “Oh, I lost track of time,” she said, peering at the large grandfather clock in the corner of the room.

“It’s okay. I’m just worried about you.”

Hermione scowled, snapping her textbook shut. “You shouldn’t be worrying about me. You’ve got plenty of other things to worry about.”

Lately, Hermione had been quite short-tempered. Ginny was the only one who was ever patient enough with her, so she was the only other Hogwarts student that Hermione really talked to.

“You should go to sleep, you have class in the morning,” Ginny replied, ignoring Hermione’s previous comment. 

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Ginny. No need to tell me what to do.”

“Save it. I’m just trying to be helpful.”

Hermione muttered something and followed Ginny up the stairs to their dorm. She had to admit that she was thankful for her friend. Ginny was the only person at Hogwarts who didn’t look at Hermione with pity in her eyes. It was probably because everyone looked at Ginny that way too.

“Why are you up so late anyway?” Hermione asked as the girls settled into their room. Hermione didn’t bother to change into her nightgown, and instead removed her cloak and let her warm duvet cover her. 

Ginny flicked her bedside lamp off, leaving the room dark. They whispered so as not to wake their roommates.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Hermione didn’t pry any further. She knew what Ginny meant. The months after the war had been filled with nightmares and late-night crying sessions. Sometimes Hermione could see Fred’s face when she shut her eyes, and she knew it must be worse for his sister.

The girls were quiet, each one avoiding shutting their eyes, knowing well what kind of nightmares would follow. After a long few moments of silence, Hermione whispered into the dark, “Ginny?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you come sleep with me?” She sounded like a child asking for her mother. 

Ginny smiled, though Hermione couldn’t see it. Soon Hermione felt a warmth beside her in her bed. Ginny slung her arm across Hermione’s stomach and curled in next to her. Hermione let herself relax. Late at night was the worst time for her, though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone. She knew nights were hard for Ginny too, because sometimes when her nightmares kept her awake she could hear her whimpering in the dark. 

But here, with Ginny nuzzled into her side, the covers pulled up to their eyes, Hermione felt secure, for the first time in a while. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, and as she did, she wondered to herself why they hadn’t thought of sharing a bed long ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione woke to the sun rising beyond her window. Ginny had her arm around her and was sleeping soundly, exhaling soft breaths onto Hermione’s shoulder. Hermione turned onto her side to come face to face with her best friend. She never got to really look at Ginny, so she took advantage of her opportunity now. She examined Ginny’s gentle features: her soft brow and the freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose. She was trying to find constellations in the them (wow, she had spent way too much time in the astronomy tower lately) when Ginny’s eyes fluttered open. 

“Morning,” Ginny said softly. She sat up in the bed and pulled her hair into the elastic on her wrist. “Did you sleep?” she asked Hermione. 

“Yeah, a little.”

“Good. Breakfast?”

Hermione usually woke before her alarm, but Ginny was famous for being impossible to get out of bed. Hermione was surprised she was so awake at this early hour. 

“Breakfast sounds good. Why are you awake so early anyway?” Hermione inquired. She reluctantly pushed herself up out of bed, still in her clothes from the day before. She walked over to the drawer and pulled out some clean ones. 

“I don’t know. I slept really well, I guess,” Ginny answered. She followed Hermione’s actions and started to undress. 

Hermione unclipped the back of her bra and slid it out from under her undershirt, and then replaced it with a new one. “It’s been a while since I slept for longer than three hours,” she said. 

Now Ginny was sitting on her bed in only her bra and underwear. “Me too,” she replied. “But last night was…nice.”

Hermione smiled at Ginny, and she glanced somewhere that wasn’t her eyes. Ginny’s skin was so soft and pale. She was so beautiful. Hermione had always thought so. 

Realizing her eyes had lingered for slightly too long, Hermione quickly turned away. She went back to getting dressed. Ginny hadn’t noticed, or if she did, she she didn’t make it known. 

…

At breakfast, a tawny owl landed in front of Hermione, holding an envelope in its claws. 

“It’s from Ron,” Hermione said with a soft grin, as the owl flew off. 

Ron and Hermione’s relationship had grown more complicated since the Battle. After they’d shared a kiss, they’d been forced to face the question of what their label would be as a couple. What had surprised Hermione had not been Ron’s reluctancy towards commitment, but her own. She loved Ron, but something felt odd about being his girlfriend. It was uncharted territory. And with her being back at school and him working, they had decided to take things slowly. 

“Have you two finally figured things out?” Ginny asked, grabbing a bagel from the platter in front of her. She spread butter across it with her knife. 

Hermione scoffed. “Ha, it’s Ron. He’s not exactly easy to have a serious conversation with,” she lied. Ron had actually made it clear that he was ready to take the next step in their relationship. Hermione was the hesitant one. She didn’t know why she couldn’t commit, and it was eating away at her. 

Ginny snorted. “I don’t know what you see in the bloke anyway. But I’m just glad we’ll get to be sisters if it works out.”

“Yeah. Sisters,” Hermione said with a smile. She slipped the unopened envelope in her cloak, intending to read it later, and began to pick at her breakfast. She suddenly wasn’t too hungry. 

…

Hermione, 

I miss you. Harry and I have been working long hours lately. It’s hard work, but I don’t mind it. It keeps my mind off of things. How’s Hogwarts? I hope you’re not getting into any trouble without me. You haven’t opened any chambers or fought any trolls lately have you? 

I want to come visit soon. Harry says he’s not ready to go back but I think I might be. 

Write soon,  
Ron

Hermione refolded the letter and put it back in its envelope. It was typical of Ron to send such a short message. She rolled her eyes at his almost indistinguishable handwriting. She missed him too. 

“Miss Granger? Do you have the answer?” came the voice from the front. This was one of the new professors. Most of the former Hogwarts staff hadn’t come back. Couldn’t come back, actually. There were far too many bad memories floating through the halls of the school. It was too much for most people. Some days it was even too much for Hermione. 

“Er, I…” Hermione stuttered, flipping frantically through her textbook, trying to refocus herself.

“You ought to get your head out of the clouds, Miss Granger,” the professor said, before moving on. Hermione mentally scolded herself. It wasn’t like her to be so absent-minded. So many things had changed since the war. She was beginning to wonder if she was at all the same person she’d been before.

…

“I’ve completely lost my mind,” Hermione huffed, a little too loudly for the library. She heard someone shush her as she sat down across from Ginny, a few minutes late to their study date. 

“Yeah, you’re three minutes late, I was about to send a search party,” Ginny joked. She was leaning back in her chair, textbooks and scribbled parchment splayed out in front of her. 

“It’s not funny. You won’t believe what happened to me in Charms today.” Hermione tucked a stray curl back into her mane of hair and began to set out her textbooks and school supplies. “The professor called on me, and I didn’t have the answer. I wasn’t paying attention. I looked like a bloody fool.“

“Hermione Granger, daydreaming?” Ginny teased, grinning. 

“I wouldn’t exactly call it daydreaming. I just…I have a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah. I get it,” Ginny said, her voice softening. She knew the feeling all too well. She looked down at her fingers, picking at one of her cuticles. 

“I think Ron might visit soon. He said so in his letter,” Hermione said, changing the subject. 

Ginny’s face brightened. As much as he drove her crazy sometimes, she really did miss her brother. She missed her family so much that it hurt sometimes. Hermione didn’t look as excited. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Of course it is,” Hermione snapped. “Anyway, I have a lot of studying to do.” She opened a textbook and began to pour over it, ignoring Ginny’s questioning glance. Ginny made a face like she was considering saying something, but opted not to press. Hermione knew her friend was smart enough to know that it would not be easy to convince Hermione Granger to talk about something she did not want to talk about. 

…

The girls spent the rest of the day in minimal conversation with one another. Ginny tried to initiate a couple of times, asking Hermione if she wanted to talk, but Hermione was stubborn. 

Ginny gnawed her lips raw worrying about her friend. She had been doing a lot of that lately. She hoped Ron coming would clear things up a bit. Maybe it would put Hermione in a better mood. At the very least, Ron would take some of the weight off of Ginny’s shoulders when it came to worrying about Hermione. 

It was around midnight when Hermione sauntered into their bedroom, looking exhausted. Ginny had decided not to check on her like she had last night. It seemed like she needed some space. 

Pretending to be asleep, Ginny listened as Hermione went through the motions of preparing for bed. She heard drawers open and shut and she heard the sound of her toothbrush. It was several long minutes after the room had fallen silent that Hermione spoke. 

“Ginny?” she whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Er, uhm…will you come sleep here again?”

Ginny smiled. She pushed back her own covers and felt her away over to Hermione’s bed in the dark. She hoped this was becoming their habit. Last night had been her first full night of sleep in the longest time. Hermione’s sleeping body pressed up against her own made her feel safe, and she knew the feeling was mutual. 

“Goodnight Ginny,” Hermione softly as Ginny lay beside her. 

“Goodnight.”


	3. Chapter 3

_It was still dark when Hermione felt Ginny stir beside her._

_“Hey, Gin, are you—”_

_Before she could finish, Ginny was on top of her, straddling her. Hermione could feel the smooth skin of Ginny’s legs against her own. Ginny kissed her, and Hermione kissed back. The kiss was intense. Ginny’s hands roamed Hermione’s body._

_What was happening? Hermione had no idea what had gotten into her friend, but she wasn’t complaining. Hermione felt like her entire body was on fire. She moaned gently into the kiss._

She woke to a silent, dark room, the real Ginny snuggled beside her as she’d always been. Hermione’s skin was still tingling, but the feeling was dying down now. Perhaps she would have been shocked, even disgusted, had this been the first time she’d dreamt about Ginny like this. The first time had been in sixth year, when she was hung up on Ron and his obsession with Lavender Brown. She’d found herself in a dream not too different from tonight’s, in which she’d spotted a flash of red hair, only to discover that it belonged to Ginny. Hermione had shrugged it off then, and it didn’t happen again, not for a while. The dreaming didn’t really start up again until after the war. Now she had one of her dreams nearly every week.

Only usually, Ginny wasn’t lying in the bed next to her when she had one.

...

“Hermione, wake up,” Ginny said, gently nudging Hermione into consciousness.

Hermione sat up, groggy. Why was Ginny awake before her, especially on a Saturday?

“What are you doing up?” Hermione asked. Ginny was grinning. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun and she was dressed in casual clothing. “And dressed?" Hermione added.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Ginny replied, bouncing slightly on the bed. “C’mon, get up!”

Moments later, Hermione was dressed, and had given up on her many failed attempts to tame her hair. Ginny was dragging her out the door, bursting with excitement and impossibly impatient.

“Where are we going?” Hermione asked.

“Breakfast,” Ginny said, like it should be obvious.

The girls made their way down to The Great Hall. Hermione stood in the entrance and scanned the room for anything unusual. That’s when she saw him—a redhead with goofy smile sitting at the Gryffindor table.

“Ron?” Hermione called tentatively. He grinned and made his way over to her, pulling her into a hug. The knot that had existed in Hermione’s stomach for the past week tightened.

Ron pulled away, still beaming. Hermione glanced at Ginny, who looked quite pleased.

“What are you doing here?” Hermione stammered.

“Bloody hell, Hermione, aren’t you glad to see me?”

“Of course I am,” Hermione said, taking Ron’s hand. She gave it a squeeze. The truth was that she didn’t know exactly how she felt. Lately, thinking about her complicated relationship with Ron gave her a headache. But seeing him here, her best friend in the whole world, really was nice. With Ron around, Hogwarts felt a little more like home.

“Ginny wrote me, said you were having a hard time,” Ron said.

Hermione shot Ginny a look. “I’m fine, really. I don’t need you to babysit me.”

“You’re not fine,” Ginny said. “You hardly eat, you’re always studying, and the sleeping...”

“I know,” she replied, her voice nearly a whisper.

“I just thought seeing Ron might cheer you up.”

Hermione smiled softly. “Thanks for being here,” she said to Ron, her fingers still intertwined with his. “I really should be studying, but I can spare an hour or two. What do you want to do?”

“Why don’t you show me all the new stuff? Give me a tour of the new Hogwarts. You know I haven’t been here since...”

“Yeah.” Hermione looked down at their hands, filling in the unspoken with a sigh. Ron hadn’t been back in almost a year, since just after the war. Back then, the castle had still been in ruins. They’d done a lot to change it in the year following the war, hoping to honour the school’s long history while also erasing some of the painful memories.

“You’ll have to show him the new common room!” Ginny piped in, trying to keep the spirits up, more for herself than anyone else.

“Good idea,” Hermione said, resolutely. “See you in class, Gin.” She gave Ginny and grateful smile and started to pull Ron down the corridor towards the Gryffindor tower.

...

“Wow,” Ron said, nearly speechless. That was a rarity for him.

They stood in the common room, looking around at the rebuilt version of the room they’d spent some of their fondest moments in. Standing here, in the only real home she’d ever had, with the boy that had meant the world to her since she was 11—it all felt a little nostalgic. Hermione looked up at Ron. He looked different. The bags under his eyes were darker, and his skin was paler. His hair, once scruffy and untrimmed, was combed and styled. His eyes were different too. Emptier, maybe.

“It’s different,” Ron said. It was an odd feeling, being here together. Nothing had really changed, yet everything had.

“I think we’re different, too,” Hermione said.

“Yeah.”

Hermione sat on the couch, folding her legs underneath her. Ron followed suit, taking the closest spot to her, though the couch was empty.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Ron asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Something’s wrong. And not just war stuff. Ginny’s been saying—”

“Ginny thinks she has me all figured out.”

“It’s not just that. Your letters, when I do get them, they’re not like the ones we used to write to each other. Remember, in the summers, when we were kids?”

“Well, I’m not 13 anymore, Ron.”

“I know, but...things are different. You know. They just are. I want to know if you’re okay.”

Thoughtful Ron? The war really had changed them. Hermione was almost annoyed at how considerate he was being.

She picked at a loose thread on her sleeve. What could she tell him? The truth? What was the truth? She felt empty, all the time.

Well, not all the time. Not when she was laughing with Ginny after a long day of studying, or when Ginny was tucked beside her in her bed, both of them drifting to sleep.

“How’s Harry?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Hermione.”

“Please,” she pleaded.

Ron sighed. “He’s alright. You know Harry. He doesn’t like to talk about it. Says he’s fine. Mum makes him come to family dinner twice a week. Says she doesn’t want him to get lonely. But I think he is.”

“Are he and Ginny...?” Hermione had tried to ask Ginny about the status of her relationship with Harry, but the topic was always swiftly avoided. The two had never had a black and white relationship with one another, but these days, it was all a little more muddled. Harry had a lot to deal with since the war, and he couldn’t really give Ginny the things she wanted from him. Hermione wasn’t sure they’d even talked at all in months.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

Hermione looked down at her lap, thinking about what was unspoken between them. She knew the conversation was inevitable, but the knowledge didn’t make her any less uncomfortable.

“So...what about us?” Ron asked, right on cue.

“Ron, I don’t want to—”

“You’re gay, aren’t you?” he asked, like he’d always known. Hermione froze.

“Wh-what?”

As soon as he'd said it, Hermione knew. She’d never allowed herself to use the word before. Hermione Granger, the queen of labels and rules and carefully selected words was terrified of this one. It seemed that what she had really needed was for someone to say it for her.

“How’d you know?” Her voice was quiet. Hermione was having one of those out of body experiences. She could hear herself speaking but she couldn’t remember opening her mouth.

“Hermione, you’re my best friend,” was all he said.

How did Ron Weasley—than man with the emotional range of a literal teaspoon—know that Hermione was gay before she even knew? He was surprising her more and more with each passing minute.

“I’m sorry, I...”

“Don’t apologize.” Ron took Hermione’s hand in his and gave it a comforting squeeze, like she’d done for him earlier.

She moved herself even closer to him, so their legs were touching. She put her head on his shoulder. “Thank you."

“For what?”

“I don’t know. For understanding. I guess I was scared you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore. You’re my best friend, Ron, and I couldn’t lose you.”

“Are you kidding? I don’t care that you’re gay! Just don’t go dating my sister or anything.” Ron laughed at his own joke, as if the thought was absurd.

Hermione tensed again.

“Ha, yeah.”


	4. Chapter 4

“So,” Ginny started, crossing her legs in front of her. She and Hermione sat in the grass of the Hogwarts courtyard, just as the sun was setting. Ginny was leaning back on her hands, and Hermione was cross-legged, picking at blades of grass. 

“So?” Hermione looked over at Ginny. 

“Were you glad to see Ron?”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Hermione said, truthfully. “I didn’t realize how much I missed him until he was here.”

“Good.”

“Thanks for getting him here. I really needed to see him.” Hermione smiled lightly at Ginny. They sat in silence for a moment, before Hermione quickly changed the subject. She knew Ginny was bound to ask about her and Ron’s relationship, and she was not ready to broach the topic yet. 

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked Ginny. 

“Of course.”

“How are things with you and Harry?”

Ginny was quiet. She lay down in the grass and set her hands on her stomach. She looked into the clouds, as if she the answers to all her problems were in the sky. 

“We broke up,” she said finally. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Or, at least, it will be. Harry’s just…he’s not the same person anymore. Neither am I. I don’t think we can give each other what we need.”

“That’s very mature of you,” Hermione said, twirling a blade of grass between her thumb and forefinger. “Harry and I haven’t spoken in ages.” She lay down beside Ginny. “I’m worried about him.”

“Me too,” said Ginny. “I care about him so much. Things just…they weren’t working out.” 

The girls lay there quietly, finding shapes in the clouds. After a few moments, Ginny sat up abruptly. 

“You know what though? I’m not gonna sulk about it. I’m gonna have some fun. Fun like I used to have back in fifth year and sixth year.”

“What kind of fun?” Hermione sat up too. 

“You know…get a little drunk, kiss a bunch of people.” 

Hermione didn’t know. Hermione Granger wasn’t exactly a party animal. She didn’t have that kind of fun. For Hermione, fun was either sitting in front of the common room fireplace with a good book, or fighting wars with her best friends. And the latter wasn’t exactly something she could do on any given Friday night. 

Ginny continued, “I’ve always wanted to kiss Pansy Parkinson. I know she’s evil, but she’s hot. And it would piss my brothers off that I hooked up with a Slytherin.” 

Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She’d never heard Ginny talk about a girl that way. “Wait, Ginny, are you…?”

“What?” Ginny looked confused. 

“It’s just that…well, I didn’t know you like girls.”

Ginny laughed. “Hermione, I’ve been kissing girls since I was 13. Where have you been? Ron jokes I’ll kiss anything with a heartbeat, the bugger.”

“I didn’t know…”

“Geez, Hermione, you really are oblivious, aren’t you?”

Hermione scoffed. “I’m not oblivious.”

Ginny grinned, and Hermione knew she was right. Hermione was extremely clever, but sometimes she missed the things that were right in front of her. 

“What about you?” Ginny asked softly, after a moment. 

“What do you mean?”

“You ever…kiss any girls?”

Hermione stiffened. The truth was that she’d only ever kissed two people. One was Viktor Krum, and the other Ron. She’d never felt the way people talked about feeling after a kiss, though. Kissing Ron wasn’t bad, but it didn’t give her butterflies or anything.

Thinking about all of this maybe Hermione anxious. She rubbed her clammy hands against the grass and stood up. “Shoot, I forgot I’m supposed to meet my study partner!” she lied. “Sorry Ginny! I’ll see you at dinner!” 

And off she ran toward the castle, leaving a stunned and suspicious Ginny in her dust. 

…

“Hermione!” Ginny called, entering the Hogwarts library, just a few hours after their interaction in the courtyard. Someone shushed her and she rolled her eyes. Hermione looked up from her scatter of books. Ginny sat across from her. 

“I’m ready for a new start. I’m going to enjoy the single life,” she started. “I heard there’s a party tonight in some seventh year’s dorm. Wanna come with me?” 

Hermione played with her quill, flattening its feather and then spreading it out again. She wasn’t sure what she would even do at a party. She hadn’t been to one in ages, and even when she used to go, she always had Ron with her. She’d usually drink a little, but spend most of her time complaining about how much work she had to do. But Ginny seemed excited about this, and Hermione didn’t want to ruin her whole “fresh start.” 

“I don’t know, Gin,” Hermione said, biting her lip. 

“Come on. It’ll be fun. You need a little fun—we both do.” Ginny reached across the table and took Hermione’s quill from her. Next, she slid one of the textbooks to her side of the table. With a grin, she said, “I’m confiscating your homework. You can’t have it back until you have some fun.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

Ginny had that look on her face, the one she had when she had her mind set on something. Hermione was infamously stubborn, but Ginny had her own doggedness too. Hermione knew she could fight it, but the fight didn’t seem worth it. She sighed, letting herself relax into her chair. 

“Fine,” she said. 

“Really?” Ginny sounded surprised. 

“Well, do I have a choice?”

“Nope,” Ginny said, grinning widely. She stood up from her seat, Hermione’s textbook under her arms. She took the rest of Hermione’s supplies and shoved them in her backpack. Hermione didn’t protest. 

“I’ll meet you in the common room at 8.”

Hermione groaned. “What am I supposed to do until then?” 

“I don’t know. Something fun. Get ready for the party, maybe.” Ginny walked off, her long red ponytail swinging behind her. 

Hermione tapped her fingers on the table. Get ready for the party? What was that supposed to mean? The extent of Hermione’s “getting ready” routine was running a brush through her hair with little to no success, and putting on her least boring outfit. Generally, that was a button-up shirt and jeans. Hermione sighed. 

…

An hour later, Hermione sat, curled up on the Gryffindor common room which she had shared with Ron just a day earlier, a book in her hands. The crackling fire warmed her bare feet, and Hermione kept her eyes glued to the page. 

Ginny had told her to have some fun. For Ginny, fun was drinking, and parties, and flirting. For Hermione, this was when she enjoyed herself most— right where she was now, in front of the Gryffindor fire, a book on her lap. And she had to say, she was feeling a lot more relaxed. 

“There you are,” came Ginny’s voice from the doorway. 

Hermione shut her book, mentally noting the page she had been on. 

“How do I look?” Ginny asked. 

Hermione gave her a careful once-over. She was wearing a tight-fitting shirt and leggings. Her hair was still in a ponytail, but she was wearing makeup now. She looked amazing, but Hermione tried to play it cool. 

“Great,” was all she said. She glanced around the room, looking for something to keep her eyes on besides Ginny’s boobs, which were hard to look away from. 

“Is this top okay?” Ginny asked, adjusting her boobs in her shirt. 

“I told you. Looks great. Can we go now?” Hermione shifted in her seat. 

“Yeah, just let me just grab my bottle of fire whiskey from the room,” Ginny said, and she disappeared up the stairs, leaving Hermione with the image of Ginny’s ass in those leggings engrained in her mind. 

…

It took two drinks for Hermione to feel a buzz. This was mostly because she rarely drank, and she hadn’t at all since the summer. A few times she’d sipped Arthur Weasley’s stashed away muggle rum with Ron and Harry, sitting on the grassy hill a little ways from the burrow. They’d tried drinking to forget about their grief, just for a little while. It never worked. 

Hermione leaned against a wall in some seventh year dorm, holding a bottle of something-or-other in her hand. The music was far too loud and Hermione didn’t really know many of the students at the party. After all, they were almost all younger than her, and anyway, she had missed a year of Hogwarts, and didn’t really know any of the younger years that hadn’t been in Dumbledore’s Army. 

Ginny was across the room, laughing with a small group of girls who Hermione recognized slightly. Hermione watched her fondly. Ginny had always been such a natural in social situations. She was charming and funny, and being beautiful probably didn’t hurt things. Hermione sort of envied her, but mostly she admired her. 

Just as Hermione’s mind was beginning to wander, she noticed the girl beside Ginny whisper in her ear. Ginny laughed, a full-body laughed. The girls separated themselves from the group, and in a matter of minutes they were kissing. 

Hermione’s stomach did a flip. She watched them kiss, softly but quickly. Ginny had her hands in the girl’s hair. Hermione felt sick. She told herself it was the alcohol. She put her drink down on a nearby desk, and scanned the room, hoping she would remember which girl this dorm belonged to. 

“Thank you for having me,” Hermione said politely, when she found the seventh year, who looked quite drunk. “If Ginny asks about me, could you tell her I’m not feeling well?”

“Suuuuure,” the seventh year slurred, smiling blankly at Hermione. Hermione smiled weakly in return, and excused herself from the party. 

…

It was midnight, and Hermione lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Going to bed was going to be impossible. She wished Ginny was here, but she tried not to think about it too much. Every time she thought of Ginny, she pictured her with her hands all over the girl from the party. 

Hermione rolled onto her side, and closed her eyes, trying to allow herself to drift off. Moments later, she felt Ginny stumble into bed beside her. Ginny’s body was warm against Hermione’s. 

“Ginny?” Hermione asked softly. 

“Where’d you go tonight?” She sounded drunk. 

“I, uh, wasn’t feeling well.”

“I couldn’t find you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I kissed Liz tonight.”

“Who’s Liz?” Hermione asked, pretending she couldn’t picture Liz’s body pressed up against Ginny’s. 

“A pretty girl from my arithmancy class.”

“Do you like her?”

“Not really.”

The girls were quiet. 

“Hermione?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Hermione rolled over, coming face to face with a sleeping Ginny.  She smiled and kissed Ginny’s forehead softly, knowing all too well that Ginny wouldn’t remember this conversation in the morning. 

“I love you too, Ginny.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus! Had a slight case of writer's block. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

The morning after the party, Hermione slipped out of the room at an early hour, leaving a sleeping Ginny in her bed. She put on her school cloaks and made her way to the library for some pre-class studying. She didn’t really have much to do in the way of studying, but Hermione desperately needed to clear her head, and the quiet of the library was the best place to do that. 

She sat in an empty aisle of the library, pouring through textbooks she’d already read. She was reading the words, but not processing them. She had to read a few paragraphs multiple times because her brain would not stop buzzing. 

Hermione thought about the party. She thought about the rush of jealousy that had burned through her when Ginny had kissed that girl. Because that’s what it was. It was jealously, wasn’t it? 

Her recollection of last night’s envy was forcing her to face the facts. Hermione felt for Ginny the way she’d never felt for anyone before.

Soon, Luna Lovegood approached, interrupting Hermione’s thoughts. Her long blond hair trailed behind her like a veil as she floated towards Hermione.

“Morning Hermione,” Luna said whimsically. 

“Luna, hello. What brings you here at this early hour?” 

“I could ask you the same.”

Hermione laughed softly. “Fair enough. Care to sit?” She motioned at the empty place beside her on the floor. Luna sat. 

“I like to get up before the Nargles,” Luna explained.

“Er, I see.”

“What’s bothering you?”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think something’s bothering me?”

“I read auras. And yours is quite blue today.”

Luna may be unique, but she was quite bright and very observant. 

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” Hermione said. 

“You should tell them. Whoever it is.” Luna said with complete confidence. 

Hermione is once again in awe of her friend. The war had surely taken its toll on her just as much as it had on the rest of them, but Luna never showed it. She’d come back to complete the studies she’d missed in the year previous, and she’d seemingly thrown herself back into the swing of Hogwarts without missing a beat. She was an extraordinary person, though odd. Hermione wished she’d allowed herself to grow closer to Luna during their years at Hogwarts.

“Tell who – what?” Hermione stammered, forced back into the reality of her situation.

“You love someone, right? It’s the aura. It’ll tell you everything.” 

Damn that stupid bloody aura. 

“I-er, I should get going,” Hermione said, gathering her things and picking herself up off the library floor. Luna looked unfazed, but stood up as well.

“Really? That’s a shame. I enjoyed the company.”

Hermione gave a quick smile and wave and hustled out of the library. If even the library couldn’t be place for her to forget herself, was there such thing? 

...

Hermione was picking at her food when Ginny plunked down beside her at the Gryffindor table later that day. 

“Hey, you were gone this morning when I woke up,” Ginny observed, helping herself to some lunch. 

“Yeah, I just had some stuff to do,” Hermione said. She forced another bite of food. 

This wasn’t like Hermione, hiding things from Ginny. Hermione was a strong and bright witch, one who was always in touch with her emotions when the others around her weren’t. She should be able to figure all of this out – her feelings, and what to do with them. But when she looked into Ginny’s stupidly pretty eyes, she always drew a blank. 

“Want to do something after class today?” Ginny asked, mid chew, oblivious to Hermione’s emotional predicament. 

“I can’t.” Hermione must avoid her – that was the answer. She just needed to stay as far away from Ginny as possible until she figured all of this out. 

“What? Why?” Ginny looked slightly annoyed. 

“Uh, I’ve got plans. Anyway, gotta run. I’ll see you later, Ginny.” Hermione grabbed her books and took off, trying to exit the Great Hall as fast as she could without actually running. 

...

Hours later, Hermione sat hunched over a scroll of parchment in an empty classroom in the far east wing of the castle, somewhere where she was certain she wouldn’t run into Ginny – or anyone, for that matter.

Dear Harry, she wrote, starting the letter she’d been struggling to write for weeks. 

It’s been quite some time since we’ve written each other, and I hope you’re okay. I’m sure you know that Ron came to visit me. He and I are worried about you. Ginny too. I know it’s approaching the six month mark since the battle, and I just want you to know I’m thinking of you. I hope you’ll consider coming to visit soon, too. Hogwarts isn’t the same without you. 

Loads of love,   
Hermione

Hermione put her quill down and sighed. She felt the familiar wave of grief wash over her. The Battle was only months ago, but in some ways, it felt like ages ago. Even more distant were the memories of school years past. Hermione knew coming back to finish her studies had been the right choice, but it was hard walking these halls without Ron and Harry. They’d always done everything together, and this was the longest they’d ever been separated. Hogwarts felt emptier without them.

As the feelings of loneliness crept in, Hermione wished Ginny were here. Ginny always knew what to say. Actually, it was more that she knew what not to say. Hermione was tempted to go and find Ginny now, but her situation was all too complicated. She knew the minute she got a whiff of Ginny’s flowery perfume she would find herself with that longing feeling in the pit of her stomach again. She’d long to be back in her bed, Ginny curled up beside her, the two girls safe from all their demons. 

“Oh God,” Hermione said out loud. The larger this crush got, the more complicated things were between her and Ginny. How was Hermione going to fix this mess? She couldn’t avoid her friend forever.

She had to tell her. This was the startling realization that Hermione had come to, despite her best efforts to fight it.

...

It was nearly ten o’clock when Hermione tentatively entered the Gryffindor common room. Ginny was there, as she’d expected, sitting cross-legged by the fire. There were a few other students staggered throughout the room. Oh good, an audience. 

“Ginny,” Hermione said softly. Ginny crossed her arms and turned to look at Hermione, a deep scowl on her lips. Hermione took a breath. “Can we talk?”

“Oh, so now you want to talk? You’re not too busy for me?”

“Look, I’m –” 

“Save it. For days you’ve been acting like a jerk. Leaving without explanation, making all these mysterious plans without me. I’m tired of you only being around when you need something from me.” 

Ginny looked angry. Hermione couldn’t blame her. 

“It’s not like that. I’ve had a lot on my mind,” Hermione began explaining, stepping closer to Ginny. A few people were watching them, and Hermione felt her cheeks grow warm. 

“Well you better have a good explanation.”

There was an outstretched silence. Ginny was standing there, red hair in a waterfall down her back, lips quivering like they always did when she was upset, and Hermione didn’t know what came over her, but suddenly, she was kissing her. 

The kiss felt frantic and overdue, but it was cut short by Ginny pushing Hermione away softly. “Hermione,” Ginny whispered. Everyone was watching them now. 

“Oh my God. Oh my God. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Hermione said, hot tears filling her eyes. She turned and ran from the common room, allowing her feet to take her anywhere, as long as it was far away. 

What had she just done?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever. I think it's worth it, though.

At well past midnight, Hermione sidled into her room, exhausted. She’d spent the last few hours in the east wing bathroom – the one no one ever used. Her time had been spent intermittently crying and brainstorming. She had come up with a plan. Hermione would keep her head down for the next month, until the holidays. She’d keep to her studies, pouring over her books late into the night, avoiding interaction with Ginny at all costs. When Christmastime came around, she’d stay at Hogwarts this year. No Christmas at the Weasleys. She didn’t know what she was going to tell Ron and Harry, and oh, what would she tell Mrs. Weasley? But never mind that for now. She’d come up with something later. 

Hermione undressed quietly, and then pulled back the covers of her bed, only to reveal a sleeping Ginny. She didn’t know how to react, having concluded that Ginny would never speak to her again. After all, she’d kissed her in front of all those people. It must have been humiliating, and Hermione figured Ginny had good reason to never want to speak to her again. 

But here she was, fast asleep, curled underneath Hermione’s warm duvet. She looked peaceful, her long and slender figure fitting perfectly into the spot she’d now claimed as her own in Hermione’s bed. 

Hermione thought about waking her. She was incredibly anxious to know if Ginny was angry with her. She wondered if maybe Ginny had been sleepwalking, and that was how she ended up here. But she looked so content, and Hermione had done enough damage for one night, so she opted to move in beside Ginny. She found her place, snug against Ginny’s warm body, the way she’d done every night in the days following. She closed her eyes, and allowed sleep to envelope her thoughts and calm her racing heart. 

Hermione hoped this wouldn’t be the last time they slept like this. 

...

For yet another morning, Hermione slipped out of the room at an early hour, leaving Ginny to wake up alone. 

Throughout the day, she stuck to her plan. She tucked herself away in the corner of the library when she wasn’t in class, and she opted to skip lunch. She frequently wondered what Ginny was thinking, but didn’t let herself dwell on it.

In the evening, just as it was nearing dinnertime, Hermione’s stomach felt hollow, and its gurgles warned her that she’d need to find some sustenance quite soon. Reluctantly, she made her way to the Great Hall, a firm knot in the pit of her stomach. When she entered, she spotted Ginny right away. Ginny was eating with a group of Gryffindors, some of whom Hermione recognized from the party the other night. Ginny was laughing with her friends, completely unfazed. Hermione had considered the possibility of Ginny being angry, or being confused, but she’d never thought about the scariest possible scenario, which was that Ginny might not care at all about what had happened. Hermione’s stomach did a somersault. 

She took a spot near the end of the table, the furthest from Ginny, hoping not to draw attention to herself. It didn’t work. A few moments into her meal, the boy beside her handed Hermione a crumpled note. 

Meet me at our spot, it read, signed with a heart beside Ginny’s name. Hermione dared to look down the table at her, but Ginny wasn’t looking. 

...

Hermione sat in the cool shade of a large willow tree in the far end of the Hogwarts courtyard. This was their spot. It had been since fourth year when a boy had rejected Ginny for the first time and she’d run all the way out here to get away. Hermione had found her and let Ginny cry into her lap for a long while, and this had been the girls’ retreat ever since. 

Hermione leaned against the cool bark of the tree and let out at a long sigh. 

“Hermione,” Ginny said as she approached behind her, startling her slightly. 

“Hi,” Hermione replied, turning to face her friend. Seeing the soft look on Ginny’s face made the knot in Hermione’s stomach tighten. She thought about last night, and how stupid she had been. She hoped to God that Ginny still wanted to be her friend, because seeing her now made her realize how much she missed her, and it had only been a day since they’d last spoken. Hermione began to speak again, letting words spill from her mouth. “Ginny, let me explain. Last night was – it was a mistake. I shouldn’t have assumed – look, if you never want to speak to me again, I understand.” She paused, but before Ginny could get a word in, Hermione continued, “You know what, I’ll just go. It was so stupid, I’m so sorry.” 

Hermione hadn’t noticed she was crying until now. She brushed away and stray tear and gathered the scraps of dignity that she had left. She was beginning to walk away when Ginny was finally able to unstick her lips and let words out. 

“Hermione,” she said again. 

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t stupid.” Ginny had a look in her eyes, one Hermione had never seen before. There was sincerity in her big brown eyes.

“It wasn’t?” Hermione was frozen to her spot. 

“No. I’ll be honest, it...surprised me. I didn’t even know you were...I guess, what I’m trying to say is that even though I didn’t expect it, it’s all I’ve thought about all day, and I miss you. I just want to be around you all the time. And I can’t even sleep without you anymore. I don’t want to have to.” 

Hermione couldn’t move. Was this really happening? She had never considered the possibility that Ginny might have feelings for her too. 

“I’m sorry for how I reacted last night,” Ginny said, taking a step closer to Hermione. “I want to make it up to you.”

With that, Ginny’s lips met hers, and all at once, Hermione knew what a kiss was supposed to feel like. It was intoxicating. 

The kiss was gentle, and warm, and Hermione’s lungs felt like they were filling up with tiny bubbles.

They kissed for a long moment, and when it was over, Hermione felt dizzy. 

Ginny was smiling. Hermione bit her lip. “So...”

“So...” Ginny said. After a beat, she added, “Want to do that again?”

And they did.


End file.
